Niels Christian's blog

He had a method of accepting things, without questioning the why and wherefore. He was never disturbed over why a thing happened. How it happened was sufficient for him.

- White Fang

So, I attended church today. We had a bible study and it was actually not all that interesting of a topic. It was about health and living a healthy life, spirituality included. Somewhere in this discussion about spiritual health it was mentioned that we stay healthy when we keep our connection to God healthy. This can be done through conversation with God, but this conversation should, of course, not be monologue from either part. But how does God answer? It’s a very interesting question and many people must have asked this questions through time. I, for one, has been asking myself this questions many times. In the church today, when this questions was given, silence occurred for a little while. Then, a cautious voice answered: “We have to listen to our hearts”. God is in our hearts, he wants us to invite him to live in our hearts. Thats also what I was taught as a kid.

Silence as answer to a question can have different reasons. One can be shy and do not want to answer. You can be lost in other thoughts, not following the discussion. You can be without an answer not knowing it. And there is also the possibility that you think you might have the answer, but you are unsure if that really is an accepted answer in this gathered group of people. Observing this present group at the bible study, I think most had not an answer or was unsure how their particular answer would be received.

Listening to the heart. What this is, could be explained in a more human logic way( i assume, i’m no scientist), that it is our subconcious mind that speaks to us. Or, that our intuition is simply telling us to, based on previous experience that we do not remember, but we do know subconsciously. But how would this answer the question on what is the truth about this subject?

God can as well speak to us from external sources, from not ourselves. Say, an action happening not caused directly or indirectly by us, but what happens somehow includes us. But how would I know if this is really something that God did or it is just a random incident? I could ask God, listen to the answer. Now I’m back to status quo.

The bible says that Jesus is the truth. A simple man could say he knows the truth, and that the truth is not Jesus. Another one could say something different. But if I for myself should decide, I would have to go through the arguments, do some experiments to test the arguments then make up my mind. This is the frustrating part. I try Jesus, I have been praying all my life. My connection strength with God has been varying, right now I am doubting if it has been there. I want it to. I keep praying. But I don’t see that personal connection that supposedly should be there.

Can a man believe in a wrong way? Is it possible for a man to think he believe but really, he doesn’t? The tendency is to think more logical ways, the human way of reason, attempting to answer everything by itself, relating to past experiences. I dislike it, but I can’t overcome it. Thus, I don’t like where I am headed!

Reading this through I get this idea that the answer is in the bible. Would this just be my intuition telling me this, given my christian childhood with christian teachings and attending church every week? Or, is this supernatural?

This blog hasn’t been updated for a while. Basicly it is due to me not having anything interesting to write about. Although I have lots of thoughts about everything I usually never get to any conclusions and therefore not posting anything.

My thoughts get around many topics but mostly, what is the meaning of life and whats the reason with everything. It is life’s big question and nobody seems to have found the answer for this. True, religions try to answer the question and so does science. But it has no evidence that any of it holds true.

If there is no purpose in life I would not know what to do of myself. There would be no reason for me to go through life, except for the pleasure it gives me as an individual. Problem is, I need more than just the pleasures in life, I need something bigger.

I am in my twenties now, and I have not finished any form of higher education. I have studied marketing for some years, but figured it was not for me. For a long time, probably a couple of years by now, I have been trying to figure out the purpose of my life and life in general. This is tough. I feel like I just want an answer so that I can know what I should do with my life. Would I wanna pursue a career of any kind? In that case what business should I be in? What about life from a bigger perspective. How would my future fit in that picture? Or does it ever really matter what I will do? All these types of questions have been haunting me. I am still looking for the answer. But I think it’s about time I figure this out since time wont take a break just for me.

So, I have been thinking and thinking and thinking. But it gets me nowhere. So, tonight I was talking with some friends and out of nowhere the discussions goes on to how it is possible to believe in a god that is not physically evident. How is it possible for people to have a personal relationship with such a god when you cant see him, cant talk with him in dialog. I didn’t know what to say and couldn’t contribute to the conversation. But by listening to the arguments, I started thinking about all these questions I mentioned and I saw stuff in another perspective helping me a step further.

Obviously it’s hard to argue against the pure facts. Coming from the facts it’s natural to go on to logic. Now, this just contributed to a new question. What is logic? This could get rather philosophical so here is the link for the wiki page on logic and definitions of logic. So if logic is the art of reasoning, who can tell what is the right reasoning behind an argument. Logic in this way can be very subjective although it’s generally as objective as possible. Anyway, the point is that logic is man made and this logic has been used by man to explain supernatural stuff. It is also used in an attempt to explain the reason for everything. So, humans try to explain the world, the universe and everything by our own terms and from what we think we know. Even though we have many facts that we think is, the question about everything is still unanswered. As far as I know, there has still not been a reasoning(based on facts) for this world and life that makes sense to me.

So I go on to religion. I don’t know all the religions of this world. I probably don’t know that many of them. I do know a little about what I believe in and that my believes change over time as I explore life. I believe what the bible tells the truth. I believe the stories and the miracles and all that is described in the bible is a way of helping people to know God. It is a divinely inspired selection of books that describes God, who has given the answers. Different religions has different ways of answering life’s big questions.

It is a personal choice what a man wants to believe. I can say something, someone can say something else, but it’s a personal choice who you decide to believe. This choice will usually be affected by experiences and all the knowledge we have gathered. My decision is to believe in God. It is my personal choice that I have made for me and nobody else. I have my own reasoning for believing how I do. Somebody other than me has each their reasoning for believing what they do.

Now, one could ask the question: If you have a choice whether you want to believe in this or that or anything and you can choose whatever you want, then how can a relationship with God, in case you choose God, be a personal relationship? What if you choose to believe in God, but no matter how hard you work on your relationship with him, you can’t feel the personal touch. Then how come one still believe there is a God?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. No matter how much I think, read and study it is still not getting me anywhere. So I try and ask God if he can give me answers. But I am not sure if I can hear what he says to me! What to do then. I am saying that I choose to believe in God, as known from the bible, but sometimes I can wonder if I am actually not believing but hoping instead. Still, I would choose to hope for God, because that is the way life makes most sense to me. This stuff is hard to think about, but personally I need it, because I want everything to make sense. How weird is that!

Did you see the irony in this post?

The “define:” keyword in google search is a nice little thing to know when you want an explantion of a  concept, a word or whatever you want defined. So I searched google for “define:blog” which came with different explanations gathered from around the Internet.

Most people would probably say it is a website where someone is keeping a journal of something, be it personal diary or some kinda of corporate/business or something else. There can be one contributor or several and usually there will be new entries on a regular basis.

So, now I wonder if this site should really be called a blog.